添削（トミーさん）

８２点

I want to go back in time and go to the Europe. I am studying world history.

But I have troubles learning the famous and figures and places in my heart.

I think that I will be good at world history if I meet them and go there in reality.

In particular , I love French history that complex society ,so I want to meet Napoleon who has a special talent and always wins the wars in order to ask a strategy and background of him.

Also,I want to join French revolution as one of the citizens to upset French society .

Compared with today‘ｓ life . People have strong and join politics., so I will learn the importance of seeing face to face and talking about politics in coffee house .

It will give something important to us who live alone in the internet .

However, the life will have many problems such as lack of food , low salary and viruses .

Therefore, I desire to go back in time in order to improve my study. 180語

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I want to go back in time and go to Europe. I am studying world history.

However, I have trouble learning famous figures and places.

I think that I will become better at world history if I meet them and go there in reality.

In particular, I love French history, which has a complex society, so I want to meet Napoleon, who had special talent and often won wars, in order to ask him about his strategies and background.

Also, I want to join the French Revolution as one of the citizens to overturn French society.

Compared with today’s life, people had strong opinions and joined politics, so I will learn the importance of meeting face to face and talking about politics in coffee houses.

It will give something important to us, who live only on the Internet.

However, the life at that time had many problems, such as a lack of food, low wages, and viruses.

Therefore, I desire to go back in time in order to improve my study.

■ Europe の前の冠詞

go to Europe

固有名詞には冠詞を付けない。

■ trouble の使い方

have trouble doing

“trouble + 動名詞” の形が必要。

■ famous figures and places

famous に “the” は不要。

形容詞 + 名詞の標準語順。

■ become better at〜

「〜が得意になる」は become better at ＋ 名詞 の語法。

■ ask の語法

ask 人 about 事

語順が決まっている。

■ overturn society

動詞 + 目的語 の基本構文。

■ 過去時制（歴史の話）

French Revolution の時代は過去なので

people had strong opinions

Napoleon won wars

など過去形を使用。

■ 前置詞

live on the Internet

lack of food

前置詞の誤りを修正。

■関係代名詞

制限用法の先行詞に固有名詞・代名詞は不自然です！

Tom who lives in Osaka is my friend.（不自然）

He who works hard will succeed.（不自然）