添削（れなさん）

If I had a time machine , I would go into the future. I have two reasons.

First, I want to know about life that I live in the future . For example , whether I married or not, whether I live comfortably or not. I worried about environmental around me in the future.

Second, I can change my life in the future by knowing my life in the future. It allows us to enjoy my life , because I can know and change it in the future . However,there is a demerit. If I would know my life in the future, I could not enjoy it , because we often live our life without knowing it in the future. I have experienced that I knew about something surprisingly before it happen . I felt sad. I hope that I could go into the future from these reasons. Therefore, if I had a time machine , I would go into the future and make my life in the future happy.

１７０語

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If I had a time machine, I would go into the future. I have two reasons.

First, I want to know about the life that I will live in the future. For example, whether I will be married or not, and whether I will live comfortably or not. I am worried about the environment around me in the future.

Second, I can change my life in the future by knowing my life in the future. It allows me to enjoy my life because I can know and change it. However, there is a demerit. If I knew my life in the future, I could not enjoy it, because we often live our life without knowing it in advance. I have experienced that I knew about something surprisingly before it happened. I felt sad. I hope that I can go into the future for these reasons. Therefore, if I had a time machine, I would go into the future and make my future life happy.

have two reasons.

life that I live in the future → life that I will live in the future

未来を指す場合、未来形「will live」が必要。

「environmental」は形容詞なので名詞「environment」に修正。

「the environment」で特定の環境を指す。

It allows us to enjoy my life → It allows me to enjoy my life

主語「I」に合わせて代名詞を修正。

before it happen → before it happened

過去形「happened」に修正。

I hope that I could go into the future from these reasons → I hope that I can go into the future for these reasons

「can」にすることで希望・可能性の意味が正確。

「from these reasons」は「for these reasons」が自然。